While the Fish slept in a Burrow

While Katie fell down the stairs, Karen was preparing Caesar’s Salad in the kitchen. Katie was temporarily blinded by the fall for exactly 2.627 minutes.

In the Bedroom, the fur from the cat had become a fur ball. It landed on the lamp, bounced of it and landed in a cup full of water. Katie was attempting to gather her senses, when she didn’t see the vase in front of her and tripped over it. She smashed through the coffee table and rolled 1080 degrees to the right and came out from the under the music system. Karen finished preparing the salad and then helped Katie to her feet and dressed the wounds.

Karen asked Katie, “Do you like cucumbers?” to which Katie replied, “No, but the ripe apple seemed more mesmerizing!” Karen then said, “What happened to the square?” Katie replied, “But I thought it was a pink banana.” Karen being thoughtful concluded, “Well, you’ll just have to get used to collecting tea pots and having five sided green-yellow polygons in the bedroom.”

Katie went to the bathroom and sat on the pot reading, “The Intricate Details Regarding The Stupidity of a Philosophical Argument” by Dr. Gerty Winefreak. Karen meanwhile was in the kitchen looking up a cookbook entitled “127 recipes out of which 97 will never be used” by Germine Slashouse.   

Trevor, the dog from the previous story came around the back of the house and scratched the door. Karen let him in and fed him some meat. He spat this out and barked twice, which for the purpose of the reader is translated as: “You are a terrible pathetic cook!” Karen then proceeded to throw the garbage. As she was about to cross the road, a fire engine roared past and just missed Karen by 7.823 inches. The driver yelled out, “Sorry ma’am, but we were at an Irish drinking party!” Karen realized that the house of John and Maria was involved in an explosion.

Karen however, had to color her hair Gold and Purple and therefore hurried back in. Katie was done sitting on the pot. She came out of the bathroom and proceeded to the bed. She drank the cup of water next to her bed which had a fur ball in it. She then started choking, and attempted to call out to Karen for help.

Karen came in and struggled to help Katie with the fur ball that was choking her. The fur ball was out within 42.749 seconds. Karen walked out of the room to the kitchen slamming the door behind her. At the same time, Katie completely disoriented, followed her out. She banged into the slamming door, fell back and pulled the clothes hanger and dressing table with her. The Swiss army knife on the dressing table flew and sliced the tip of Katie’s lip and fell with a thud on the floor right next to her right eye.

Karen’s boyfriend Clive called in to say that he was dropping by, but then the brakes failed on his bike. He spun out of control and smashed into a telephone pole, flying into an electrified fence and landed in a pile of fresh dung from a cow that had just been electrocuted by the fence.

So, the next phase of the gi……………………………….was once even within the range of a………………..partly due to the…………..causing certain death by Ma………………on correcting English Grammar in Bolivia…… while the white Fran…..

At this point, the author was struck with a case of Narcolepsy (because he did not take his medication on time) causing him to sleep between writing this story and reviewing a book on Dyslexia entitled: “How teh wrold truned to spel – chek” by Jhon Psenerc.

A Mixed Bowl of Corn

Although John knew it, he had exactly 44 bobble heads on his desk that needed cleaning. His dog Trevor dashed into the room with a pink calendar in his mouth. Sensitive to his dog’s nature, he chuckled and proceeded to his computer only to find that a virus had taken over and it was now downloading 50.7 Terabytes of Pornography.

On the table in the dining room were a purple rose and a red polka dot cookie. John’s mother Maria was busy in the kitchen with the food. What happened next was quite unexpected.

The fan that was spinning, unhooked itself and fell down, and sent the dog running and yelping out of the house. This in turn caused the table to go over to the left of the room sending cutlery and silverware into the microwave. The cookie on the table, was sent flying into the air and smashed into the Touch-Sensitive keypad of the microwave, sending it on a two hour course of cooking which included a session of grilling as well.

Due to the amount of metal present in the microwave, it started shuddering and shaking, while Maria and John came out of their respective rooms of indulgence to inspect the current events unfolding before them.

Before they knew it, the microwave was about to explode, while a butterfly flew into the house, settled itself on the wall and watched the proceedings. The microwave then exploded, sending 625.741 pieces into the surrounding areas.

Precisely at that point, John’s father Lesley called in from his car phone to tell the family that he was going to arrive for lunch, but he spotted a baby turtle and a frog on the road and swerved to avoid them, thereby sending the car into a field of corn and cotton. Lesley’s car smashed into one of the farm’s husking machines and was therefore of no use. So he tried calling home again to tell the family that he had now found corn for his lunch and free cotton to make a coat and spend the night on the farm till his car was fixed. He also would be indulging in farm activities inclusive of but not limited to: butter and cheese making, distilling local alcohol and milking the cows.

Meanwhile, back at home, Maria and John were assessing the damage that had been done. John decided to call the repairman, who told him that he was indulging in a game of darts while juggling tarts with his left had at his grandmother’s tea party, rendering himself useless. So, John called the fire brigade because he thought it was good sport. The Fire Brigade however, was currently in the middle of a typical Irish drinking party. Surprised by the turn of events, John and Maria went back to their respective rooms and decided to take care of the matter later.

Meanwhile, the butterfly landed on the gas cylinder valve, setting off the gas out of control, while somebody on the road lit a cigarette and there was a huge explosion. The dog had returned to a ruined pile of concrete rubble of what used to be a house.

Due to this event, the climatic battle for the………………. Was not exactly………by the same ga……..right past the old sail, next to the slimy………………………..rotten eggs in the basket…………………………while a crippled ……………….saw the extent of the consequences of farting behind a girl………………………

At this point, the author was suddenly paralyzed by a stroke, while writing the story on his way to a flower show complete with dancing girls. As his stroke progressed, he decided that he would fight for his life to complete the story. As can be seen, he could not. He was taken to a hospital and placed on an electric fully functional wheelchair with a computer translator to communicate and write short stories. However, on attempting to do so, he jammed the wrong control sending the wheelchair out of control, which spun 746 degrees, went down a flight of stairs and into the crematorium where it smashed against a table sending the author flying into one of the cremation chambers while it was in operation.

Random Lunacy..

When that hour struck four girls were having coffee in my room, and Bix was attacking the ‘Royal Garden Blues’ for the twentieth time. We were disheveled, but none of us was tired and none was drunk. James was not with us. He had stolen a bullock cart from a Pathan and was galloping in a one-man chariot race round cantonments. We saw him flash by, his bright Hawaiian shirt and curly fair hair whipping in the wind as he stood up, shouting, in the rocking cart, while the owner ran cursing and laughing behind. Then we saw my colonel’s wife, wearing a nightdress and a coat and riding a bicycle, join James in his chariot race. She pedaled hard beside him, and we wondered vaguely what she was doing. It was an eerie scene in the long shadows of the desert morning—the maddened bullocks, the flapping nightie, the running Pathan, the aloha shirt.