An Ice Cream cone with scoop included came screaming right past my window on a bright sunny day with exactly 17 clouds and landed right into the bucked of soapy water which I was using to wash my bike! It immediately gave the soapy water a vanilla flavor and consistency, at which point I threw down my washing cloth, threw my hands to the heavens and implored for an uninterrupted session of bike TLC!
I looked around for the source of my agony, but I only spied my puppy! Suddenly a voice from far away complete with Reverb, delay and quadraphonic effects said, “You will find the answer on the second cabinet to the right of the microwave situated above the crack pipe and wine glasses!” Alas, I was torn between my obligations and duties to my bike and searching for The Answer!
I decided that I would invest only 7 minutes into searching for The Answer. As I found out to my consternation, the next 7 minutes would turn out to be one of the most adventurous and utterly crazy experiences that I’ve ever had since the Roswell incident!
I entered the house not knowing precisely what to expect. My puppy also decided to make an entrance (in the true nature of Iron Maiden’s bassist), and darted in through the door, skidded past the bathroom, banged into the cardboard box, which caused him to make a 62.7 degree turn and thereafter drifted into the kitchen and slammed into the dustbin distributing its contents everywhere. As I was digesting the situation, the cat wanting a piece of the action, randomly flew past my right ear, in a frenzy and decided to attack a pillow to show her capabilities, as well as knocking the T.V remote down. My puppy then seized the opportunity to socialize with the cat! With little care for the consequences of such a venture, the result was nothing short of nearly getting his left eyeball, left ear tip and the corners of his nose literally torn away! The cat jumped onto him, thereby taking control of his head and face and they were locked into a battle to the finish!
I decided to rid myself of the madness that was ensuing and so proceeded to the concerned cabinet, at which point the Cat-Dog battle had spilled into the very same room where I was located, knocking over a vase that in turn caused the glass duck to fall, which in turn caused an assorted pile of knives, forks and spoons to be displaced! I on impulse managed to save all three objects in the span of 1.36899 seconds, thereby incapacitating myself as the cabinet was not 4.63 inches from my grasp!
My Mother, who was within hearing range of the chaos and pandemonium that still continued as though it were a matter of life and death, came to enquire, only to find a strange sight in front of her eyes! I asked her frantically to assist me in restoring the saved objects to their original positions.
Once some amount of damage control was achieved, I proceeded to the cabinet and opened it. What I found inside was a coffee mug, gold and glass dragon and a 5 centimeter tall teddy bear which had a purple pant and a green jacket! As I began my furious tirade against the voice that caused all that had befallen me, I realized that my 7 minutes was over. I returned to my bike only to find that birds had decided to defecate on it and the mangoes from the tree had scratched and dented my beloved fuel tank.
At this point, I decided that it would be fitting to see to it that Br………………………………………………………………………………………….
Unfortunately, the author had received a phone call precisely at that point, while the doorbell rang and the milk over boiled in the kitchen causing a sinister smell to creep throughout the house! This caused a distraction of sufficient magnitude that would make the author forget the initial purpose of this rambling. The author is currently located in an unknown mental asylum, regretting a life threatening decision that involved feather caps and torn bits of cellophane.
I looked around for the source of my agony, but I only spied my puppy! Suddenly a voice from far away complete with Reverb, delay and quadraphonic effects said, “You will find the answer on the second cabinet to the right of the microwave situated above the crack pipe and wine glasses!” Alas, I was torn between my obligations and duties to my bike and searching for The Answer!
I decided that I would invest only 7 minutes into searching for The Answer. As I found out to my consternation, the next 7 minutes would turn out to be one of the most adventurous and utterly crazy experiences that I’ve ever had since the Roswell incident!
I entered the house not knowing precisely what to expect. My puppy also decided to make an entrance (in the true nature of Iron Maiden’s bassist), and darted in through the door, skidded past the bathroom, banged into the cardboard box, which caused him to make a 62.7 degree turn and thereafter drifted into the kitchen and slammed into the dustbin distributing its contents everywhere. As I was digesting the situation, the cat wanting a piece of the action, randomly flew past my right ear, in a frenzy and decided to attack a pillow to show her capabilities, as well as knocking the T.V remote down. My puppy then seized the opportunity to socialize with the cat! With little care for the consequences of such a venture, the result was nothing short of nearly getting his left eyeball, left ear tip and the corners of his nose literally torn away! The cat jumped onto him, thereby taking control of his head and face and they were locked into a battle to the finish!
I decided to rid myself of the madness that was ensuing and so proceeded to the concerned cabinet, at which point the Cat-Dog battle had spilled into the very same room where I was located, knocking over a vase that in turn caused the glass duck to fall, which in turn caused an assorted pile of knives, forks and spoons to be displaced! I on impulse managed to save all three objects in the span of 1.36899 seconds, thereby incapacitating myself as the cabinet was not 4.63 inches from my grasp!
My Mother, who was within hearing range of the chaos and pandemonium that still continued as though it were a matter of life and death, came to enquire, only to find a strange sight in front of her eyes! I asked her frantically to assist me in restoring the saved objects to their original positions.
Once some amount of damage control was achieved, I proceeded to the cabinet and opened it. What I found inside was a coffee mug, gold and glass dragon and a 5 centimeter tall teddy bear which had a purple pant and a green jacket! As I began my furious tirade against the voice that caused all that had befallen me, I realized that my 7 minutes was over. I returned to my bike only to find that birds had decided to defecate on it and the mangoes from the tree had scratched and dented my beloved fuel tank.
At this point, I decided that it would be fitting to see to it that Br………………………………………………………………………………………….
Unfortunately, the author had received a phone call precisely at that point, while the doorbell rang and the milk over boiled in the kitchen causing a sinister smell to creep throughout the house! This caused a distraction of sufficient magnitude that would make the author forget the initial purpose of this rambling. The author is currently located in an unknown mental asylum, regretting a life threatening decision that involved feather caps and torn bits of cellophane.
never ever have I read such weirdest shit compiled with such seriousness and style!! I have a couple of friends who match you in such things...lets hope you all meet once! :-D
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